Archive for August, 2010

Look to the stars
August 30, 2010

There is this one boy in my life. He means a whole lot to me. I will never be over him, and I will never, ever forget him. I don’t know where the roads of life will take us, but when I look back at high school, he will be one of the people I will see first. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me want to be a better person. I get jealous all the time – but he is no way mine, and will most likely never be again; but I cant help it. And even though that is true… I don’t mind being his friend. I would do absolutely anything for him, and I think he knows that. And people tell me to move on, or forget about him, I never will. All the time I pretend nothing is bothering me and that I don’t need him. And I’m okay with that. I’ll be his friend forever and ever, as long as that means I’m a part of his life.

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Baby steps
August 28, 2010

As for being patient with fate and all, it’s getting old. And my mind is slowly changing. I’m calling all my oldest friends, saying sorry for this mess we’re in. And I’m waiting, waiting for the sun to come and melt this snow, wash away the pain and give me back control.

But I’m gonna smile my best smile & I’m gonna laugh like its going out of style, look into his eyes and pray he don’t see that learning to live again is killing me.

The essence of life is not being perfect, impressing people, or succeeding at everything. The essence of life is simply making mistakes and learning from them, surrounding yourself with people that love you when you’re being yourself, and getting through the failures so that you can continue improving.

I’m someone you’ll regret losing; I can promise you that.

Being a girl, it’s probably most annoying to hear a girl weep over a useless boy. I’m completely aware that it hurts when you lose someone, don’t get me wrong. Although you don’t need that boy. You are just as strong, if not stronger without him. Don’t let a boy define you, and don’t forget, you do not need him.

Did you know what when people appear in your dreams, it’s because that person wants to see you?
Time Magazine

In a relationship you have to accept the other person for all of who they are and not just the parts that are easy to like…And you’re stupid if you turn your back on something as important as love.

I looked at you today, and for the first time, you didn’t look like the boy I fell in love with.  You looked hard, cold. Like you changed after we broke up.  I knew then, you weren’t the one that changed, I was.

The most memorable people in life will be the people who loved you when you weren’t very loveable.

“Kids, you need to know some things. First off, life isnt all about who you’re dating or what you’re wearing. As much as you think people care, they really don’t care how perfect your hair is, or how ripped you are. Yes, you need to take care of yourself, but there are more important things in life. The world doesn’t care about your 90 % average, or your first place dance award. Acne will go away, and your hair cut will grow back out. Life is meant to be fun, it’s about living for moments, and not for people. Life is about how you live, not how you look. You can spend your weekend lying in bed watching movies, or you can go out and party all weekend. As long as you’re enjoying life, and as long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. If its not fun, its not worth doing. So please be yourself and enjoy life. It’s too short to be miserable.”

Take me away
August 28, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents

4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams
6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear Self,
One day, you’ll have to accept the past and forgive yourself. While that time may not be soon, it’s gotta happen. This guilt; it’s tearing you apart. This feeling of worthlessness, it’s gotta go. How many days, months, or years, before you’re whole again? This is your fault. You did this. Not you today, but you from last year. He felt the pain you’re feeling – twice. It’s fair that you have to feel it once, but why does it feel like the whole world is crashing down around you? At school, you’ve lost your group of friends because of two people. How can you even stand to be around them; to let them see your weakness?
I just want to get out of here, now. It will break my heart over and over again to see them together. Whether it’s at school, at Waterworld, Homecoming, Ball, whatever. Why did this have to happen? I can’t do it. Karma is a huge bitch.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place
August 25, 2010

“I finally understood what true love meant…love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.”
Dear John

Hate is a strong word
August 24, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents
4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams

6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear Daniel,
I really don’t hate you. I don’t hate anyone for that matter. And I can’t blame you for what happened, because I know that it was my fault just as much as it was yours, if not more. We both made stupid decisions that I look back on now and just shake my head in disappointment. How could I ever do that? I know why though. And honestly, that’s all that matters to me now because I learned from it. I am no longer that person and thank god for that. I really had to work at changing and I had to just focus on myself and not think about other people, and it was tough, but I think you need to do the same thing. I have no idea who you really are as a person anymore because we don’t talk much, but I hope you change and become a better person too because it’s one of the most satisfying feelings ever. A little while ago you asked me if I had forgiven myself yet and well…I don’t know. To a certain extent, I have. But then again, I haven’t because I really haven’t been able to let go of it. Now that I think about it, how can I expect Chad to completely forgive me if I haven’t even forgiven myself? Heavy thoughts, I know. Anyways, I don’t hate you, because hate is too strong a word to throw around like that.

Stop playing games
August 23, 2010

It’s amazing what one person can do. Some people build you up just to bend and break you. Some people bring out parts of you that you had no clue existed. All throughout life, we meet people and every single one of them brings something to us; gives us some sort of purpose. We come across people that will hurt us so incredibly much that it seems unbearable to go on with our lives, but the truth is, we can overcome anything we want to if we believe in it enough, if we have faith in ourselves and in who we are. The most important thing in life is to find yourself. Know who you are at all times and stand by that for the rest of your life. No one has to the right to tell you who you are and control your life, because it’s yours. Your life is meant to be lived by no one else but yourself. We sometimes let people get the best of us, destroy us and change our opinions on what we believe is true. Only you know what’s right for yourself. You have the power, you make the choices and you learn. Each experience we go through in a life is a lesson to be learned. We all make mistakes. Why is that so hard for some to understand? No one should be judged by the mistakes they have made. It’s past news. Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our true strength? It’s only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with and deal with before we eventually break.

Just because I’m losing doesn’t mean I’m lost
August 21, 2010

I used to hate this town. I used to hate every single blade of grass on every hill, but he taught me so much. He taught me that it’s not the job of this town to make me feel happy. It’s not its fault that I don’t fit in. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, because it’s about where you are in your head. It’s about the other world I inhabit. The world of dreams, hope, imagination, and memories.

Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes, change may not be what we want. Sometimes, change is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you’ll never have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever though possible. Sometimes, change is too much to bear. But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.

It’s funny how we always find ourselves running back to the ones we swore we’d leave behind. There is always this kind of magic thing. Keeps us turning around.

If I’ve learned anything in life, it is that sometimes things get in your path and you have a choice: you can either smash right into them, or you can adjust and move around, but you have to do one or the other in order to move forward.
Gossip Girl


If it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be spending so much time thinking about it.

Promise yourself to be strong, that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of eveything & make your optimism come true. Think only the best, work only for the best, & expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past & press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side as long as you are true to the best that’s in you.

Honesty is a hard attribute to find, when we all want to seem like we’ve got it all figured out. Well let me be the first to say that I don’t have a clue, i don’t have all the answers. And im not going to pretend like i do.

You see,” he says to the girl, “you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too; even when you’re in the dark, even when you’re falling.”

If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart… where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.
Gilmore Girls

Back in the day
August 21, 2010

I’m gonna write you a letter…

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents
4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams
6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear Kristina,
While most of our conversations are a little ridiculous and extremely time consuming, I am still glad that we kept our friendship going even though you moved away. We may both be different people now, but we’ve shared so many memories together. I won’t forget “Clan 6,” our really stupid drama, and our awkward middle school days. Remember your obsession with Keds? And various boys that I won’t name…It’s funny to look back at it all. I wish you the best in life and I’m sure you’re going places. Come back from Arizona and join us in California! It’s been too long!

A message to you
August 20, 2010

“Sometimes I just miss that boy, the one who held my hand walking down the street, whose arms I laid in and never wanted to go away, the one who I talked to for hours and told pointless stories to, the one who knew everything about me and liked me anyway, the one who knew exactly what I was saying even if I didn’t and helped me when I had no clue what to do, the one who showed me what love was and what it was like to need someone there, the one who could only make me cry and hurt me like no other guy could, those eyes that said everything, that sense of sarcasm that was always there, the way even he couldn’t stop from falling in love, that even though we fought constantly and couldn’t stand each other we couldn’t leave each other sides. Something is still there, something that never left me the day that boy broke my heart in two, something like your first love that wasn’t ready to end, something that makes your stomach flip at the brush of a hand or arm, something that makes it so much harder to know that he’s not yours anymore but hers, something that makes you want to hide away and cry all those tears because suddenly all of those memories come back and it hurts worse to know that it’s all out of control.”

Turn it up
August 19, 2010

This one’s for the radio (So DJ turn it up)
Cause I need to let the world know how I feel
This one needs a video (Go ahead and look it up)
Cause they won’t believe me when I say you’re real.

There’s nobody like you,
You’re limited edition like my sneakers,
Need to turn this up in your speakers,
Because this one’s for the radio

Turn It Up; One Call

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it’s stormin’
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin’

Perfect Two; Auburn

I was shooting for stars, on a Saturday night
They say what goes up, must come down but don’t let me fall
Don’t let me fall, don’t let me fall

‘Cause I’m glidin up there, oh so very high
That if the, clouds were to drop me, then I’d, fall out the sky
I don’t really, know why I’m here, I guess I’m, just here for the ride
I swear it, feels like I’m dreamin, it’s vividly defined, yeah

Don’t Let Me Fall; B.o.B

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, 
I’ll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see, 
I’ll be the light to guide you

Find out what we’re made of
What we are called to help our friends in need
You can count on me like 1 2 3
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you’ll be there

Count On Me; Bruno Mars

When I think of all the worries people seem to find
And how they’re in a hurry to complicate their mind
By chasing after money and dreams that can’t come true
I’m glad that we are different, we’ve better things to do
May others plan their future, I’m busy lovin’ you (1-2-3-4)
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today

Let’s Live For Today; Grass Roots

This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet, Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so
I’ll swim (I’ll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down
And now all I can see are the planets in a row
Suggesting it’s best that I slow down

This night’s a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

Dark Blue; Jack’s Mannequin

You’re on my mind
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire

They say that the road ain’t no place to start a family
Right down the line it’s been you and me
And lovin’ a music man ain’t always what it’s supposed to be
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I’m forever yours

Faithfully; Journey