Archive for October, 2010

This is how you remind me
October 31, 2010

So maybe you could walk with me a while and maybe I could rest beneath your smile. Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold because it’s a long trip alone.

She wouldn’t care if you called her and woke her up to talk at 2am. She loves arguing, and she’s good at it. Scary movies make her paranoid. She hates it when people don’t call her back. She envies every couple she sees walking around showing their happiness. She only wants to be happy lately, and lately all she’s thought about is you.

Never think “what if?” Everything happens for a reason. So when things don’t work out, shake it off and realize it wasn’t worth it like you thought it was.

Every time again I’m afraid that you won’t be there, that you have left to never come back again. You’re not even mine and though every day I’m afraid to lose you. And goodbye is the hardest part, every time again. Seeing how you walk away, without looking back. I’m afraid one day you’ll do that for good…

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

People spend their whole lives trying to live up to other people’s expectations and being told what to do. I say screw that – be free. Do what you want, go where you want, and reach for the sky because life has no limits or boundaries. Boundaries are just other people’s fears, and limits are just other people’s expectations. You only get one chance to do all the things that life offers you. Have no enemies, no regrets, no fears, and then you’ll have really lived life.

Sometimes, truth isn’t good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.
The Dark Knight

I liked the days when boys were written down on paper listed on your top 5, instead of you carrying them in your heart. When you would brag about how cool your parents were, instead of talking about how they now ruin your lives. When the only reason you didn’t want to get out of bed for school was because you were sleepy, and now it’s because each day is a struggle. While hide and seek was the coolest game, instead of guys seeing how many girls they can go out with at one time. When you wished upon birthday candles, and now you wish on a boy who is holding your heart. The days when you were just a kid who still had their innocence, and now you’re a teenager who knows everything has changed.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if we never met. It would have been simpler, yes, easier, maybe, but then I realized that it also would be incomplete.

There are some things we do because we convince ourselves it would be better for everyone involved. We tell ourselves that it’s the right thing to do, the alturistic thing to do. It’s easier then telling ourselves the truth.
My Sister’s Keeper


False Hope
October 24, 2010

I think when you are young, you are hoping that the person will be the right one, the one you are going to be in love with forever. But sometimes, you want that so much; you create something that isn’t there.

What defines a best friend? What are the requirements to be a good best friend? How many hours a week does it entail? Stupid questions that have no answers. A best friend is not defined by how many times they talk on the phone, or how many hours they hang out together. It is not defined by how many sleepovers they gossip at, or how many inside jokes they have. There are no requirements or laws that state a good best friend must hang out with them every weekend, or tell each other every little detail. A best friend is a matter of opinion. It is the person who has been there for you through everything, not just through the fun things, or the little things. It is the person that you call when you are at your absolute worst, it is the person who saves you when you didn’t even notice that you needed saving, mostly it is the person who accepts you for who you are, and the person that you are becoming.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once and awhile, you could miss it.

I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.
Marilyn Monroe

She glances in the mirror and throws her hair up, ripped jeans, an old hoodie — they’re all she needs. She runs out the door, five minutes before class starts and arrives just as the bell rings, cheeks flushed. She doesn’t try that hard at school and she plays sports because she likes to run. Her room’s a mess and her cell phone’s always dead, but she just smiles ; she knows the world is hers. She has her enemies, she’s made mistakes and she knows it. But she doesn’t care. She’s happy with who she is and who she has — because that’s all she needs.

Isn’t it ironic that in life the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness?

You never know where the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But, if you believe it’s right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you might just get the thing you’re looking for.

People don’t play sports because its fun. Ask any athlete, most of them hate it, but they couldnt imagine their lives without it. It’s part of them, the hate/love relationship. It is what they live for. They live for the practices, parties, cheers, long bus rides, invitationals, countless pairs of different shoes, water, gatorade, and coaches you hate but appreciate. They way it feels when you beat the team next to you by one point. They live for the way you become a family with your team, they live for the countless songs you sing. They live for the competition, they live for the friends, the practices, the memories, the pain, its who they are, its who we are.

I’ve noticed that if you look carefully at someone’s eyes during the first five seconds that they start to look at you, the truth of their feelings will shine through for an instant before it starts to flicker away.

Too bad that people can’t switch problems. 
Because nobody knows how to solve their own problems,
but they always know how to solve another’s.

I guess people think what we’re doing is stupid. Reckless, looking to get hurt, definite complications. But it’s not. It’s you and it’s me. We know each other, we trust and care for each other. There’s no awkwardness, nothing weird. It’s as natural as it ever was.

I’ve got the brightest star you’ll ever find. Even the sun is jealous of the way you shine. We are the constellations in the sky. Wrap me up in your arms. It’s beautiful when time is ours. And everything’s a miracle.
Swimming With Dolphins

That that don’t kill me can only make me stronger
October 23, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents
4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams
6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life

Dear Self,

You broke your own heart the hardest, trying to please everyone without realizing you weren’t even happy. I am proud to be able to say that I am happy now. While I can say I did that to myself, I definitely wouldn’t have gotten through it without a few select people who are still pushing me to be happy and be a better person overall. I am proud that I am strong – I haven’t cried a single tear since that one night, nearly two months ago. I thought I would be an absolute mess, but it turns out, I have a lot more strength than I thought. Who would have known? A special thanks to my close friends – the one’s who have helped me through thick and thin, and will continue to be there for me after this year.


I think I’m fallin’ for you
October 17, 2010

Love is a mix tape filled with fast songs to get your heart going, slow songs to help that perfect moment last just a little longer. It’s filled with songs that have those nice little lines of lyrics that you memorize. It’s filled with songs that you can relate to when you’re happy or sad, songs that fuel your anger. Love is a mix tape that screams for you when you can’t, love is a mix tape, an assortment of different emotions, good or bad. Love does suck, love is great, love is like a mix tape filled with everything you love and hate.

Tell me the truth
October 12, 2010

The bad thing about falling to pieces is that it hurts. The good thing about it is that once you’re lying there in shards, you’ve got nothing left to protect, and so you have no reason not to be honest.

Everyone’s heartbroken nowadays, but I mean, we all just gotta move on. What’s the point of reminiscing when you know the person is no longer worthwhile; when they’re no longer who they used to be? When their heart is somewhere else? Do you think they still care for you, still sit there thinking about you? Because frankly, they don’t.

You built me up and break me down in just a snap with your fingers.
I don’t understand how you can control my mood so easily,
You’ve got it all wrapped in your pretty sweet mind don’t you?

You’re gonna fly with every dream you chase. You’re gonna cry, but know that that’s okay. Sometimes life’s not fair, but if you hang in there, you’re gonna see that sometimes bad is good. We just have to believe things will work out like they should. Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me, you’re gonna be.

You want to know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, because no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong.

“The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.”

She’s a girl. A sixteen-year-old beauty on the brink of freedom. A rebellious child with everything to lose. Just another confused youth who thinks she’s special, because she listens to bands whose names have more words than some sentences. She pretends not to care, and most of the time, she gets away with it. But the truth is, no one could care more than she does. She pretends to hate herself more than she really does. And she’s scared to remember the past, but even more scared to forget it.

Everybody will be your friend when you’re doing the right thing. But your best friend will stick with you and support you, even if you are doing the wrong thing.

I think the problem is that I’m stuck waiting for him to do something, to make a move, to say the perfect thing. And the problem is that I shouldn’t be that girl, the one who sits and waits for him. I should be independent. I should think clearly and consistently without having my mind jump straight back to him. Yeah, falling for someone like that is the hardest thing to do. And the stupidest thing is that the thing standing in my way is fear of losing him, the fear of rejection, the fear that I might lose a friend that means everything to me. I want to be everything to him, but I’m not. I’m not the kind of girl he needs, and I’ll never be that girl.

It’s sorta like I gave you the key to my heart and you lost it. And I kept making copies because I wanted to let you in.

Let’s make the great escape
October 2, 2010

As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It’s not that we don’t want to, but too much has happened that we just can’t.

Everytime I think about you I have to remind myself that if you wanted to talk to me, you would.

You grab my attention when you walk into the room. It could be past midnight and I’m still thinking about you. I cannot control the feelings you’ve got me going through. I want to be yours, but that’s up to you.

But mostly, I cried because my life had been going full speed for so long and now it had just stopped, like running right into a big brick wall, knocking the wind and the fight right out of me. And I didn’t know if I ever even wanted to get up and start breathing again.

Dreamland by Sarah Dessen

I like that you bring up memories of you and I. Miniscule events that even forgot about. It makes me think I’m still in your mind, that you haven’t erased it all like you claim.

It’s not supposed to be perfect, and no one is supposed to understand it. It’s meant to be chaotic, and it’s meant to make you cringe. If you haven’t cried in a while, or felt like shit in even longer, then you’re most likely doing something wrong. This isn’t here for constant perfection, or some cliche happy ending. It’s here to be real, and to keep your heart beating, and to keep you wanting more. There is supposed to be a bright light of hope in your heart, and a black hole of the unknown in your mind. None of this makes sense, but it’s all worth it.

I’ve learned a lot this year… I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.

Jennifer Weiner

The thing about you is you’re fun, you make me laugh, and you make me feel more alive. Okay, you make me a little crazy sometimes, but there are these moments in my mind, crystal-clear images of you and me and how we fit together, and it all makes such perfect sense, and I know what I want. I want more time with you.

Be thankful for every heartbreak, for they were planned. They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life. And you do.

I always wondered why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on earth, then I ask myself the same question.

The past is annoying; it always shows up. In everybody’s words, in every song you hear, in every block you walk, and you never get rid of it, no matter how hard you try.