Archive for January, 2011

We are humans
January 24, 2011

“We’re all walking around with these glossy eyes. “I’m just tired,” we say. But you know what? It’s bullshit. Yes, we are tired, but it’s not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We’re tired of the loneliness that presses down on us even though we’re surrounded by dozens of people. So why can’t we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other’s eyes and say, “I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible.” We’ve been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. Well, I say screw all of that. Screw forced smiles and polite handshakes and I’m fine, thank yous. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies that we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans. We are meant to feel. To feel everything and to feel it all openly. We are not metal – we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, what’s left to show?”

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A lack of color
January 22, 2011

Do you even wonder? I mean about us, what happened? It was almost like our relationship was a piece of paper crumbled up and thrown away; forgotten. What might have happened if we didn’t throw it away? Maybe we would still be together or maybe not. Or maybe secretly we haven’t thrown it away yet. We’re saving it because we’re hoping someday we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. Or maybe it’s not even that we want it back, maybe it’s that we don’t want to lose what we had, but at the same time, we know it’s already lost. I wonder that a lot, and I wonder if you wonder sometimes too.

If you don’t like me, remember that its mind over matter.

I don’t mind and you don’t matter.

– Dr. Suess

Unplanned moments are always better than planned ones.

Someday maybe somebody will love me like I need, someday I won’t have to prove cause somebody will see. But until then I’ll do just fine on my own.

She won’t call you. You have to call her. She won’t come talk to you, you should go talk to her. She’s not going to let you act stupid and pretend she likes it. You should just be around her. When you’re with a group of friends, she isn’ t going to run into your arms no matter how much she wants to. You need to come up behind her and wrap you arms around her. and let her friends get jealous. She loves you more than you can imagine, no matter how much she doesn’t show it. But you boy, you need to show her how much you love her so she isn’t afraid to show it back.

I’m a straight-forward kinda girl. If you ask me what I’m thinking I’ll tell you, no sugar coating because that’s not what life is about. It’s about dealing with the pain that comes along, so if you are going to tell me how you feel, don’t lie. If I ask you something, I want to know the truth, not the lie.

I’ve learned that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. And that you don’t know how much you love a persons company until they’re no longer around.

You drive me crazy
January 8, 2011

“Oh, our lives are separate roads. We’ve picked our separate ways, but this love I’ve found reminds me every day that I still believe in you. I still have faith. I have faith that you’ll find your way and realize your mistakes, cause I can’t handle another night alone. And so I’m trying to find words to convince you to stay. Trying to pick myself up, but you’re getting away. I keep falling down, the words won’t come out. My tongue twists in circles, keeps them trapped in my mouth. But I need the ocean or its sand. Or the high that I felt when you first held my hand. And honey, I just can’t feel right alone. Is there hope for this? Cause it’s you that I miss. And I can’t handle another night alone.”

These are my confessions
January 2, 2011

I’ve been in love.
I’ve been in lust.
I’ve had a crush that lasted over a year.
I’ve liked someone and they liked me but we didn’t date.
I’ve liked more than one person at a time.
More than one person has been interested in me at the same time.

I’ve been involved in a love triangle.
I’ve experienced unrequited love.
I’ve had a crush on a member of the same sex.
I’ve made out with a member of the same sex.
I’ve done something sexual with a member of the same sex.
I’ve dated someone of the same sex.
I’m straight.
I’ve been in a relationship that lasted at least one year.
I’ve been in a relationship that lasted at least two years.
I’ve never been in a relationship that was shorter than a month.
I’ve been in few relationships.
I’ve only had one long serious relationship.
I’m still friends with at least one of my exes.

I had a “kindergarten boyfriend.”
I’ve dumped someone.
I’ve been dumped.
I’ve asked someone out.
I’ve been asked out in person.
^ over the phone.
^ online.
I’ve been dumped through a note.
I’ve been cheated on.
I’ve cheated on a significant other.
I’ve had unprotected sex.
I’ve been given a ring from a guy.
A guy has given me flowers.
^ jewelry.

I’ve given a hickey.
I’ve received a hickey.
I’ve received a hickey from someone I wasn’t dating.
I’ve received a hickey on my neck.

^on my chest.
^on my boob.
^ on my chin.
^ on my ear.
^ on my stomach.
^ on my thigh.
I had my first kiss when I was fourteen.
I’ve kissed just a friend.
I’ve made out with just a friend.
I’ve received a love letter.
I’ve written a love letter.

^ I delivered it too.
A guy has written a poem about me.
A guy has written lyrics about me.
I’ve gained weight because of a break-up.
I’ve dated someone who didn’t go to my school.
I’ve been in the same class as a boyfriend.
I’ve dated someone younger than me.
I’ve dated someone older than me.
I’ve had a crush on someone who was at least a year younger than me.
^ at least two years younger.
^ at least three years younger.
I usually confess to my crush about how I feel.
I’ve been proposed to, and he was serious.
Someone has been obsessed with me.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
^ on the beach.
^ in a pool/jacuzzi.
^underwater
^ on a rollercoaster.
^ while driving.
^ while they were driving.
^while in the shower
^while i was asleep
^ all over my body.
^ at the park.
^ under fireworks.
^ under the sunset.
^ at school.
^ in class.

I’ve been someone’s first kiss.
I’ve been someone’s first love.
I’ve never been “the other woman” in an affair.

I’ve went with a significant other/crush to the movies.
^ to the zoo.
^ to Disneyland.
^ to a baby shower.
^ to a party.
My first date was at the movies.
I had a crush on the boy next door when I was little.
I’ve taken a romantic walk on the beach.
I’ve had a picnic on the beach with that special someone.
I’ve taken a nap with a significant other.
I’ve taken a nap with a crush.
I like to spoon.
I love cuddling.
I’ve had a sleepover with the opposite sex.

My parents adore my current significant other.
My siblings adore my current significant other.
My significant other’s family likes me.
I’ve dated someone whom my parents didn’t like.
^ who was in a different political party.
^ who was of another ethnicity.
I’ve dated somebody who was in a band.
^ a rock band.
^ the school’s marching band
^ jazz band.
I’ve dated somebody who played sports.
^ football
^ track
^basketball
I’ve dated someone who plays an instrument.
^drums
I’ve dated the drum major of the marching band.
I’ve been complimented on my eyes.
^ my hair.
^ my humor.
^ my smile.
^ my overall personality.
^ my overall looks.

I’ve been sang to.
I’ve cuddled with somebody under a warm blanket on a rainy day.
I’m a tease.
I consider myself to be a flirt.
I’ve fallen for my best friend [of the opposite sex].
^ we ended up dating.

I’ve liked someone who already had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I’ve liked someone while I was already dating someone else.
Somebody has “stolen” a significant other from me.
I’ve flirted with a friend’s crush.