Pursuit of happiness

Call me crazy, but I still believe very much in untainted, unchanging, everlasting love. Despite the heartbreak and the disappointment that follows each mismatch, I’ve never failed to pick myself right back up to dive into yet another dream. It’s just I’ve seen rainbows without the rain. I’ve felt the ground shake as I’ve prayed. I’ve witnessed light shine from darkness, so I’ve concluded that true love must be out there, waiting for us.

Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. And most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong.

It’s that tragic story of a shallow boy, with the girl who sees way too much in him, the story of the boy who turned her down because she just wasn’t pretty enough, and the world spits in her face telling her she’s not good enough day after day, and everyday she paints on a smile and pretends she’s fine… it’s the story of my life.

Never expect, never assume, never ask and never demand. Just let it be. Because if it’s meant to be, it will happen the way you want things to be.

Hear me out for a minute, but I think that those who cheat go through the most mentally. Hate on me all you want for siding with the enemy, but here’s the reason. You cheat, and you lose the person for what you did. You spend every day grappling with what you did to ruin yourself and your heart. You know that you’re the reason behind it all, there’s no reason to hate on the other person. You commit the act and then you recognize your love, left wanting more with no reason not to. You never escape the guilt or love.

The most heartbreaking part of a breakup is that moment when you realize that all the dreams you had, all those visions you had being with this person disappears. Everything after that moment is moving on.
Taylor Swift

The future is scary, but you can’t just run back to the past because it’s familiar.

But I think, personally, that it would be worse to have been alone all that time. Sure, maybe I would have protected my heart from some things, but would that really have been better? To hold myself apart because I was too scared that something might not be forever?

I’m lonely. And I’m lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.


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