Archive for November, 2011

Let go
November 27, 2011

1Your Best Friend
2Your Crush
3Your parents
4Your sibling (or closest relative)
5Your dreams
6Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7Someone who always makes you happy
8Someone you wish you could meet
9Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11Someone you wish could forgive you

12Someone you’ve drifted away from

13The person you miss the most

14Someone from your childhood

15The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 Yourself at 13
17Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18Someone you want to give a second chance to
19 The last person you kissed
20The last person you made a pinky promise to
21 — Someone that changed your life

To my dearest friend,

Technically, not a pinky promise, but close enough.

Okay, let’s be honest. We’ve both been making a lot of bad mistakes in the past couple years. But your most recent endeavor has gotten me thinking, a lot. I know that I’ve supported you through it all because I get how you feel and how it is hard to control your feelings, but I think it’s crossed a line where I am no longer able to support your actions.

That’s not really how it sounds. I will stand by you no matter what. But just know that this has been tough on me because I know what you’re doing is so wrong, yet I watch you keep on doing it. It didn’t bother me that much at first, but now it really does. After tonight, I hope that it is all over and that it can only get better from here, but please, please, please. Learn from this. Think hard about it. Every single bit of it.

You are a beautiful girl and you deserve to be someone’s number one. You need to regain your self-respect. Don’t let a boy use you like that. It’s not right and it never will be. I’m sorry to be so harsh but it’s making me so frustrated to stand by and watch because I know this is your mistake to make and your lesson to be learned, and it’s time to stop. This giant mess is just a repeat of all the problems of the past. Making similar mistakes twice and going through a whole different lying ordeal is not okay with me.

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.”

I love you and will be here always. But please, for me and you both, let’s let go of the past and continue on with our lives. There are so many better things out there. There is no need to hurt yourself by holding onto people who no longer put in the effort to let you know that they care about you. I write this for you as much as I write it for me. We struggle so much in our lives, yet we should be striving for something simpler. Something more peaceful.

I promise that we’ll get there, together, one day. Have a little faith in yourself, prove everyone else wrong, and most importantly, become someone that you can be proud of.

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One day at a time
November 4, 2011

Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

Maybe I just realized it’s not worthwhile, because really,
after you put your entire heart and soul into something and you get absolutely nothing back, yeah it’s frustrating. Eventually you come to terms with the fact that
he wasn’t what you thought he was at all. He wasn’t close to the boy you summed him up to be,
and really, he wasn’t worth it one bit.

Because I miss you, when something really good happens, you’re the first one I want to share it with.
Because I miss you when something is troubling me, you’re the only one who would’ve understand.
Because I miss you, when I laugh and cry, you’re the only one who could make me laugh harder and make my tears dissapear. I don’t know where we went and why we grew apart, but you should know, I miss you.

Out of all the things I could do with you, I look forward to sleeping with you the most. Not having sex, but more than that – just sleeping in the same bed, you holding me in your arms and me falling asleep on your chest and waking up with you right next to me. That’s what I want. That’s what I look forward to.

You don’t get to choose, you just fall in love. And you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know that you love them so much except sometimes they just drive you completely insane and no one can explain it and the reason its so confusing is because its love. But if love didn’t have any challenges, what would be the point?

Cute guys are amazing. Not the super sexy guys, who are
too shallow even for themselves.
But the ones who are sort of
clumsy, and dorky at times.
Who are always sorta sweet.
They are the ones worth keeping.

You were always being inconsistent. Doing things and then saying you’re sorry about it. Beating my heart talking about your sorry…I loved you on purpose. I was open on purpose. I’m not even sorry about you being sorry. You can take all your guilt and do whatever you want with it. Just don’t give it to me, I can’t use another sorry. At least next time, admit it.

I think life isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be. We are constantly looking for answers. But there are no answers, things just happen. The good and the bad. To see the rainbow you’ve got to put up with the rain. It happens, and there is nothing we can do about it. The universe isn’t made up of questions, waiting for us to answer.

“The worst thing about endings is knowing that just ahead is the daunting task of starting over.”
Jodi Picoult, Keeping Faith