Archive for the ‘Letters’ Category

Let go
November 27, 2011

1Your Best Friend
2Your Crush
3Your parents
4Your sibling (or closest relative)
5Your dreams
6Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7Someone who always makes you happy
8Someone you wish you could meet
9Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11Someone you wish could forgive you

12Someone you’ve drifted away from

13The person you miss the most

14Someone from your childhood

15The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 Yourself at 13
17Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18Someone you want to give a second chance to
19 The last person you kissed
20The last person you made a pinky promise to
21 — Someone that changed your life

To my dearest friend,

Technically, not a pinky promise, but close enough.

Okay, let’s be honest. We’ve both been making a lot of bad mistakes in the past couple years. But your most recent endeavor has gotten me thinking, a lot. I know that I’ve supported you through it all because I get how you feel and how it is hard to control your feelings, but I think it’s crossed a line where I am no longer able to support your actions.

That’s not really how it sounds. I will stand by you no matter what. But just know that this has been tough on me because I know what you’re doing is so wrong, yet I watch you keep on doing it. It didn’t bother me that much at first, but now it really does. After tonight, I hope that it is all over and that it can only get better from here, but please, please, please. Learn from this. Think hard about it. Every single bit of it.

You are a beautiful girl and you deserve to be someone’s number one. You need to regain your self-respect. Don’t let a boy use you like that. It’s not right and it never will be. I’m sorry to be so harsh but it’s making me so frustrated to stand by and watch because I know this is your mistake to make and your lesson to be learned, and it’s time to stop. This giant mess is just a repeat of all the problems of the past. Making similar mistakes twice and going through a whole different lying ordeal is not okay with me.

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.”

I love you and will be here always. But please, for me and you both, let’s let go of the past and continue on with our lives. There are so many better things out there. There is no need to hurt yourself by holding onto people who no longer put in the effort to let you know that they care about you. I write this for you as much as I write it for me. We struggle so much in our lives, yet we should be striving for something simpler. Something more peaceful.

I promise that we’ll get there, together, one day. Have a little faith in yourself, prove everyone else wrong, and most importantly, become someone that you can be proud of.

Take my hand
July 12, 2011

1Your Best Friend
2Your Crush
3Your parents
4Your sibling (or closest relative)
5Your dreams
6Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7Someone who always makes you happy
8Someone you wish you could meet
9Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11Someone you wish could forgive you

12Someone you’ve drifted away from

13The person you miss the most

14Someone from your childhood

15The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 Yourself at 13
17Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18Someone you want to give a second chance to
19 The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to
21 — Someone that changed your life

Dear Monster,

I obsess. I constantly think about why you treat me the way that you do, even though I don’t want to be thinking about it because it just hurts too much. For a long time, I accepted it. I thought it was because that’s just who you are or because I didn’t deserve to be treated any better after all that happened. But then, a few months went by and I got back on my feet again, and it was then that I started to wonder and think and over think. If you care about someone, why would you treat them so badly? Why would you toy with their emotions and not care how they feel after the fire is put out? Now, the problem with this theory is that I’ve done it before. I’ve played with people’s emotions until I couldn’t anymore. So I know. But the thing was, I didn’t fully realize what I was doing until after, but while you’re doing it, you know what you’re doing. You know you’re hurting me. So why do you do it? I can’t figure it out.

I know there is a guy out there who will care for me in ways you probably never will, but for some reason, I’m still here. I’m still with you. Because I am holding onto this hope that one day, something will click in your head and you will finally, finally realize what you’re doing to me and change. Not change for me, but for yourself, so you understand that you can’t just go around treating people that way. We all have emotions and mine have been stomped on and thrown around, but I’ve seen glimpses of what I want and how I know you can be. That’s the thing – I know that side of you. Other people think I’m crazy for sticking around when they know how you treat me, but I’ve seen the other side, and I want that side. I want it. But is that enough? Is it enough to want something so badly, that I would do anything to get there? Is it worth all the pain? That, I haven’t figured out yet. And I’m hoping that I won’t have to because someday soon, maybe you’ll come around.

Until then, or the end of the road, I wish I could care a little less. Feel a little less. I told myself I’d be carefree and I tell everyone else it’s not serious, we’re just having fun, taking it one day at a time. But truth is, I’m not that kind of girl. I like things placed where they are supposed to be. I like to have things planned out. I don’t like surprises. Well, certain surprises that is. So, I’ll keep waiting and holding onto my hope, because that’s all I know how to do.

Nonexistent
April 25, 2011

1Your Best Friend
2Your Crush
3Your parents
4Your sibling (or closest relative)
5Your dreams
6Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7Someone who always makes you happy
8Someone you wish you could meet
9Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11Someone you wish could forgive you

12Someone you’ve drifted away from

13The person you miss the most

14Someone from your childhood

15The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 Yourself at 13
17Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18Someone you want to give a second chance to
19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to
21 — Someone that changed your life

Dear…no one,

I don’t really have someone I want to give a second chance to because all of the people I wanted to, have gotten their second chances. And most of the time, it’s been me asking for those second chances. With everyone else, from friends to boyfriends, it all worked out for the best in the end, I think. Or else we wouldn’t be where we are right now, right? I guess we’ll never know for sure but life wouldn’t be any fun if we always knew!

Why?
November 27, 2010

1Your Best Friend
2Your Crush
3Your parents
4Your sibling (or closest relative)
5Your dreams
6Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7Someone who always makes you happy
8Someone you wish you could meet
9Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11Someone you wish could forgive you

12Someone you’ve drifted away from

13The person you miss the most

14Someone from your childhood

15The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 Yourself at 13
17Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life

Dear world,
Quite honestly, I think everyone I interact with kind of “pesters” my mind in a good or bad way. There is something about people – we are all secretive about things. When you meet someone for the first time, you don’t tell them every single thing about you. It is just how society works. But what if we did that? What if everyone, and I mean everyone, was open with each other? How different would the world really be?
Why is it even possible for people to hurt other people? Why do people make the same mistakes over and over again, even though they know they are making the mistake as it happens? Why aren’t animals able to defend themselves? It is weird thoughts like that that pester my mind.

Good Luck
November 14, 2010

1Your Best Friend
2Your Crush
3Your parents
4Your sibling (or closest relative)
5Your dreams
6Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7Someone who always makes you happy
8Someone you wish you could meet
9Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11Someone you wish could forgive you

12Someone you’ve drifted away from

13The person you miss the most

14Someone from your childhood

15The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear 13-year-old me,

Middle school is tough, I know. Drama, drama, and more drama. But just wait for high school…it gets better. You just need to find the people that actually care about you and forget about the ones that don’t. Try not to fight with your friends over stupid things; it’ll ruin you guys. And that boy that “broke your heart,” you don’t know what heartbreak is. Move on, stop crying over him. He’s not worth your tears. There is so much waiting for you. Don’t take people that you love in your life for granted because one of these days, you aren’t going to have them anymore. So don’t forget to remind them how much they mean to you.

Bottom line is, live life. Take chances, but don’t be selfish. Learn how to let other people in and still be independent. Oh and when some boy comes into your life, tread carefully, but not too carefully. First love is something you won’t forget, so make it count.

That that don’t kill me can only make me stronger
October 23, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents
4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams
6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear Self,

You broke your own heart the hardest, trying to please everyone without realizing you weren’t even happy. I am proud to be able to say that I am happy now. While I can say I did that to myself, I definitely wouldn’t have gotten through it without a few select people who are still pushing me to be happy and be a better person overall. I am proud that I am strong – I haven’t cried a single tear since that one night, nearly two months ago. I thought I would be an absolute mess, but it turns out, I have a lot more strength than I thought. Who would have known? A special thanks to my close friends – the one’s who have helped me through thick and thin, and will continue to be there for me after this year.

 

The countdown begins…
September 26, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents

4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams

6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear Beverly,

This past week or so have been crazy. I honestly do not know what to say to you anymore because I know what I am doing is hurting you, but I don’t necessarily feel like what I am doing is wrong. We may not be the best of friends, but I do consider you a friend, and I do not want to cause you pain. But trying to let go…I just can’t do it. I am not planning on taking things farther than they have gone, because I am content with how things are going. It just like how I can’t go up to Alton and tell him I’m sorry for liking Chad or for moving on. It is just how it happened and no matter what I do, I am going to hurt someone. And no offense to everyone but I am sick of pleasing everyone. I have been so frustrated with how inconsiderate people can be, not to mention immature. I don’t want or need to deal with it, so I’m not going to. I only have one more year stuck in this place, and the year I have left, I’m not going to have any regrets. So let’s make the best of this year and try to put all of our differences aside.

Do you remember
September 7, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents

4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams
6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Chad,
Honestly, I don’t know if it’s you I miss the most. But since you’re the first person who came to mind, I’m guessing it’s true, no matter how much I want to deny it. I have made such huge strides in the past week. I have no idea how I did it. I thought for sure that I would be absolutely miserable for the rest of the year, counting down the days until I left for college and didn’t have to see anyone I didn’t want to see ever again. While I am still looking forward to a fresh start, I have accepted what happened. I’ve accepted that I made mistakes, over and over, and I learned from it. Maybe a little too late, but I learned. 
I caught your eye today and as sad as it made me, it also made me realize I really am going to be okay. We shared a moment over our official “date,” September 21st, and I’ll probably never look at that day the same. When I see the number 9 or 21, I automatically think of you. But when I looked at you, I couldn’t help but smile. You still mean a lot to me, no matter what has happened these past few months.
You may not think so, but I’ve discovered that I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I am happy. And I know I deserve that happiness. And, I really am happy for you, Chad. This is what you wanted, and I am happy that you got what you wanted. One day, I hope we look back on all of this and laugh. Teenage love is a funny thing isn’t it?

Friendship is a gift
September 3, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents
4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams

6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear Ashley,
I really don’t know what to make of our friendship. Sure, we were close. Best friends, twins… But were we really that close? I don’t think so. I didn’t tell you everything and you didn’t tell me everything. There were so many gaps in our relationship and we just didn’t realize it. And I think that is why it fell apart. We both just…gave up. I know exactly why each of us gave up, but what if we had held on a little tighter? Would that have changed anything? 
I think we are both happier now. I’m glad that you’ve made new friends that hopefully understand you more than I did. I know I’ve made new friendships that I am so thankful for. I’m learning not to take people for granted anymore, and I know I did that to you and I am sorry for that. But, I do feel like you still hold a grudge, because I hear you talk about me to Dana and I know that when we talk at John Muir it is all staged and fake. 
But, nevertheless, I think we’ve both reached good places. I hope all is well and that you have a bright future ahead of you!

Take me away
August 28, 2010

1 — Your Best Friend
2 — Your Crush
3 — Your parents

4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
5 — Your dreams
6 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7 — Someone who always makes you happy
8 — Someone you wish you could meet
9 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
10 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11 — Someone you wish could forgive you

12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

13 — The person you miss the most

14 — Someone from your childhood

15 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

16 — Yourself at 13

17 — Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to

21 — Someone that changed your life


Dear Self,
One day, you’ll have to accept the past and forgive yourself. While that time may not be soon, it’s gotta happen. This guilt; it’s tearing you apart. This feeling of worthlessness, it’s gotta go. How many days, months, or years, before you’re whole again? This is your fault. You did this. Not you today, but you from last year. He felt the pain you’re feeling – twice. It’s fair that you have to feel it once, but why does it feel like the whole world is crashing down around you? At school, you’ve lost your group of friends because of two people. How can you even stand to be around them; to let them see your weakness?
I just want to get out of here, now. It will break my heart over and over again to see them together. Whether it’s at school, at Waterworld, Homecoming, Ball, whatever. Why did this have to happen? I can’t do it. Karma is a huge bitch.