What are you waiting for?

May 21, 2011 - Leave a Response

We think more logically now. As teenagers, we think more deviously. We make excuses, we lie, we hide things. We concoct plans we never would have thought of before. Plans that will get us in trouble, but we do anyway, just for the thrill. We’re young. We have all the time in the world to make mistakes, to choose the wrong path, but also to figure out where we fit and what makes us happy. Because that’s what life really is. It’s about taking chances. It’s about jumping into deep waters, even when you can’t see the bottom. Sure, you’ve got everything to lose, but you also have everything to gain.  If you sit around constantly afraid of everything, you’ll get no where. So don’t live with regrets. Do what you want to do, when you can do it. And most of all, take that chance. Just jump in.

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We’ll be alright

May 17, 2011 - Leave a Response

You don’t choose who you fall for. You just fall and you get this person who is all wrong, but yet so right. You know that you like them so much, except sometimes they drive you insane and no one can explain.

When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status, you know you’re either doing something very right, or something very wrong.

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.

I got to thinking about fate. That crazy concept that we’re not really responsible for the course our lives take. That it’s all predestined, written in the stars. Maybe that explains why, if you live in a city, where you can’t even see the stars, your love life tends to feel a little more random. And even if our every man, every kiss, every heartache, is pre-ordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal milky way? I couldn’t help but wonder, can you make a mistake and miss your fate?
Sex and the City

Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.

The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.

The past is always going to be deep inside our souls. You can’t run from it, you can’t hide from it. You just have to accept it and remember that you can’t bring the good memories back, but when you’re having one of those days, you can sit back and reminisce on the times you had and the feelings they brought.

Life changes. You get it all lined up just the way you like it and then something beyond your control comes along and bumps your off center. How nice it would be if you could get everything just the way you want it and say “okay, now…stay!”. But nothing stays the same. You grow up, make friends, lose friends, go to college, lose track of people, meet new ones and sometimes you ask yourself why. But all I can tell you is that every single experience you go through changed you in some way. Every new person who comes into your life changes you. Every moral dilemma or emotional experience you come up against changes you. It’s your job to decide how.

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.
Martin Luther King Jr.

Nonexistent

April 25, 2011 - Leave a Response

1Your Best Friend
2Your Crush
3Your parents
4Your sibling (or closest relative)
5Your dreams
6Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love
7Someone who always makes you happy
8Someone you wish you could meet
9Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

10The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
11Someone you wish could forgive you

12Someone you’ve drifted away from

13The person you miss the most

14Someone from your childhood

15The one that broke your heart the hardest
16 Yourself at 13
17Someone that pesters your mind – Good or bad
18Someone you want to give a second chance to
19 — The last person you kissed
20— The last person you made a pinky promise to
21 — Someone that changed your life

Dear…no one,

I don’t really have someone I want to give a second chance to because all of the people I wanted to, have gotten their second chances. And most of the time, it’s been me asking for those second chances. With everyone else, from friends to boyfriends, it all worked out for the best in the end, I think. Or else we wouldn’t be where we are right now, right? I guess we’ll never know for sure but life wouldn’t be any fun if we always knew!

Just can’t get enough

April 25, 2011 - Leave a Response

Sure, there are the big moments. The “I love you’s” and the passionate kisses and the first time he grabs your hand in public, pulling you next to him and holding you close. And those are great. But treasure the little moments, like when you’re walking somewhere and you’re holding onto his arm, just talking; and the last kiss goodnight when he looks at you a bit sadly because he doesn’t want you to go; and the smile he gives you like there’s a secret joke between the two of you. Treasure them, because the little moments mean so much. They are what will get you through when you miss him dearly. The big moments are great; but it’s the little ones that will really make you fall for him.

The show goes on

March 12, 2011 - Leave a Response

Sometimes despite our best wishes and intentions, fate wins.

I like to see people reunited. I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together. The end of missing someone.
Jonathan Safran Foer

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, 
but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.

There’s only so much you can do before you stop and realize it’s over. The problem we have is we hate giving up. It’s a sign of weakness and nobody likes to be weak, but sometimes giving up will show that you have the strength to move on. It’s letting go of something when you know it’s near the end.

I remember the first day I saw you, I remember the first day we spoke. I remember the night you held me close in your arms as we danced. I remember saying I love you each time we hung up the phone. But it was the times you just looked at me. Then I knew you would always be in my heart and nothing could ever change that.

Sometimes, I want something terrible to happen to me, just to see who would care.

You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.
Nicholas Sparks

You built me up and break me down in just a snap with your fingers.
I don’t understand how you can control my mood so easily,
You’ve got it all wrapped in your pretty sweet mind don’t you?

“I believe that when you find love, you hold on to it and cherish it because there is nothing finer, and it may never come again”
Boy Meets World

People say that the bad memories cause the most pain,
but actually it’s the good ones that drive you insane.

Sing it out loud

February 20, 2011 - Leave a Response

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy.

I want to appreciate the times when moments are made into memories. I want to embrace them, cherish them, and never forget that they come so few and far between. I know that wherever life takes me, these moments will always follow. They remind me of what’s truly important. It’s not just life, but living. It’s the journey, the destination, and all the points I see between.

I used to be so strong, I used to be able to do whatever I want, and then I feel like I’ve been broken down little by little. I don’t know what to do. I can’t have him talk to me like this anymore. I just want to be with someone who loves me so much. Okay, whatever, I do think I deserve to be a princess, I think that every girl deserves to be treated like a princess. But you treat me like crap. That’s not okay, that’s not an excuse. Like, I know what I have to do and I know what I want to do, but why can’t get I get there? I just don’t know what to do.

The Hills

Guys who break up with you shouldn’t be allowed to give you compliments after they break up with you. It leads to hoping, and hoping is bad if there’s nothing to hope for.

Because sometimes it’s easier to say, “I hate you,” than “I miss you, I wish we didn’t fight; I wish you would call me sometimes.” Because sometimes, it’s easier to think, screw life, screw work, screw everything, than admit that you’re overwhelmed and feel like you’re drowning. Because sometimes, it’s easier to admit the simple things than say the hard things and realize how much you’ve been struggling and how much you feel as if life has gone out of your control.

You broke my heart, and you acted like it was somehow my fault. My misunderstanding. I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you. So I just punished myself.

We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing, to art, because we desperately want to feel together. We want to know that we are not going crazy and that somewhere else out there, someone is feeling exactly what you are feeling. We love everything that is tied up neatly, easily, and simply but when we can not find that, it scares the hell out of us, to not know the next step, or where things are headed. Being unsure is never part of ourplan. But it’s those moments, the ones where you risk it and take a chance regardless of how vulnerable it makes us, that help us remember that life is larger than we’ll ever know.

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect and I don’t live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.”
Bob Marley

We are humans

January 24, 2011 - Leave a Response

“We’re all walking around with these glossy eyes. “I’m just tired,” we say. But you know what? It’s bullshit. Yes, we are tired, but it’s not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We’re tired of the loneliness that presses down on us even though we’re surrounded by dozens of people. So why can’t we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other’s eyes and say, “I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible.” We’ve been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. Well, I say screw all of that. Screw forced smiles and polite handshakes and I’m fine, thank yous. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies that we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans. We are meant to feel. To feel everything and to feel it all openly. We are not metal – we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, what’s left to show?”

A lack of color

January 22, 2011 - 2 Responses

Do you even wonder? I mean about us, what happened? It was almost like our relationship was a piece of paper crumbled up and thrown away; forgotten. What might have happened if we didn’t throw it away? Maybe we would still be together or maybe not. Or maybe secretly we haven’t thrown it away yet. We’re saving it because we’re hoping someday we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. Or maybe it’s not even that we want it back, maybe it’s that we don’t want to lose what we had, but at the same time, we know it’s already lost. I wonder that a lot, and I wonder if you wonder sometimes too.

If you don’t like me, remember that its mind over matter.

I don’t mind and you don’t matter.

– Dr. Suess

Unplanned moments are always better than planned ones.

Someday maybe somebody will love me like I need, someday I won’t have to prove cause somebody will see. But until then I’ll do just fine on my own.

She won’t call you. You have to call her. She won’t come talk to you, you should go talk to her. She’s not going to let you act stupid and pretend she likes it. You should just be around her. When you’re with a group of friends, she isn’ t going to run into your arms no matter how much she wants to. You need to come up behind her and wrap you arms around her. and let her friends get jealous. She loves you more than you can imagine, no matter how much she doesn’t show it. But you boy, you need to show her how much you love her so she isn’t afraid to show it back.

I’m a straight-forward kinda girl. If you ask me what I’m thinking I’ll tell you, no sugar coating because that’s not what life is about. It’s about dealing with the pain that comes along, so if you are going to tell me how you feel, don’t lie. If I ask you something, I want to know the truth, not the lie.

I’ve learned that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. And that you don’t know how much you love a persons company until they’re no longer around.

You drive me crazy

January 8, 2011 - Leave a Response

“Oh, our lives are separate roads. We’ve picked our separate ways, but this love I’ve found reminds me every day that I still believe in you. I still have faith. I have faith that you’ll find your way and realize your mistakes, cause I can’t handle another night alone. And so I’m trying to find words to convince you to stay. Trying to pick myself up, but you’re getting away. I keep falling down, the words won’t come out. My tongue twists in circles, keeps them trapped in my mouth. But I need the ocean or its sand. Or the high that I felt when you first held my hand. And honey, I just can’t feel right alone. Is there hope for this? Cause it’s you that I miss. And I can’t handle another night alone.”

These are my confessions

January 2, 2011 - Leave a Response

I’ve been in love.
I’ve been in lust.
I’ve had a crush that lasted over a year.
I’ve liked someone and they liked me but we didn’t date.
I’ve liked more than one person at a time.
More than one person has been interested in me at the same time.

I’ve been involved in a love triangle.
I’ve experienced unrequited love.
I’ve had a crush on a member of the same sex.
I’ve made out with a member of the same sex.
I’ve done something sexual with a member of the same sex.
I’ve dated someone of the same sex.
I’m straight.
I’ve been in a relationship that lasted at least one year.
I’ve been in a relationship that lasted at least two years.
I’ve never been in a relationship that was shorter than a month.
I’ve been in few relationships.
I’ve only had one long serious relationship.
I’m still friends with at least one of my exes.

I had a “kindergarten boyfriend.”
I’ve dumped someone.
I’ve been dumped.
I’ve asked someone out.
I’ve been asked out in person.
^ over the phone.
^ online.
I’ve been dumped through a note.
I’ve been cheated on.
I’ve cheated on a significant other.
I’ve had unprotected sex.
I’ve been given a ring from a guy.
A guy has given me flowers.
^ jewelry.

I’ve given a hickey.
I’ve received a hickey.
I’ve received a hickey from someone I wasn’t dating.
I’ve received a hickey on my neck.

^on my chest.
^on my boob.
^ on my chin.
^ on my ear.
^ on my stomach.
^ on my thigh.
I had my first kiss when I was fourteen.
I’ve kissed just a friend.
I’ve made out with just a friend.
I’ve received a love letter.
I’ve written a love letter.

^ I delivered it too.
A guy has written a poem about me.
A guy has written lyrics about me.
I’ve gained weight because of a break-up.
I’ve dated someone who didn’t go to my school.
I’ve been in the same class as a boyfriend.
I’ve dated someone younger than me.
I’ve dated someone older than me.
I’ve had a crush on someone who was at least a year younger than me.
^ at least two years younger.
^ at least three years younger.
I usually confess to my crush about how I feel.
I’ve been proposed to, and he was serious.
Someone has been obsessed with me.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
^ on the beach.
^ in a pool/jacuzzi.
^underwater
^ on a rollercoaster.
^ while driving.
^ while they were driving.
^while in the shower
^while i was asleep
^ all over my body.
^ at the park.
^ under fireworks.
^ under the sunset.
^ at school.
^ in class.

I’ve been someone’s first kiss.
I’ve been someone’s first love.
I’ve never been “the other woman” in an affair.

I’ve went with a significant other/crush to the movies.
^ to the zoo.
^ to Disneyland.
^ to a baby shower.
^ to a party.
My first date was at the movies.
I had a crush on the boy next door when I was little.
I’ve taken a romantic walk on the beach.
I’ve had a picnic on the beach with that special someone.
I’ve taken a nap with a significant other.
I’ve taken a nap with a crush.
I like to spoon.
I love cuddling.
I’ve had a sleepover with the opposite sex.

My parents adore my current significant other.
My siblings adore my current significant other.
My significant other’s family likes me.
I’ve dated someone whom my parents didn’t like.
^ who was in a different political party.
^ who was of another ethnicity.
I’ve dated somebody who was in a band.
^ a rock band.
^ the school’s marching band
^ jazz band.
I’ve dated somebody who played sports.
^ football
^ track
^basketball
I’ve dated someone who plays an instrument.
^drums
I’ve dated the drum major of the marching band.
I’ve been complimented on my eyes.
^ my hair.
^ my humor.
^ my smile.
^ my overall personality.
^ my overall looks.

I’ve been sang to.
I’ve cuddled with somebody under a warm blanket on a rainy day.
I’m a tease.
I consider myself to be a flirt.
I’ve fallen for my best friend [of the opposite sex].
^ we ended up dating.

I’ve liked someone who already had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I’ve liked someone while I was already dating someone else.
Somebody has “stolen” a significant other from me.
I’ve flirted with a friend’s crush.